Every once in a while I get a reminder that my role here is not to repeat the advice of others but to push the boundaries a little bit. To challenge the status quo. But I don't always do that. Sometimes I get sucked in to writing posts that are a bit too traditional.
I hope today's post gets you thinking a bit . . .
Because an interesting cultural phenomena continues in the job search and career market. We are excruciatingly polite and I'm concerned that this may turn into an issue for some of you.
And it is all our mom's fault. Yes, yours too.
So without delay, I'll just say it. If you are job seeker, stop being so polite to everyone.
First of all, stop calling me Mr.
I see it all the time in cover letters and e-mail introductions.
- Dear Mr. or Ms.
So do you even know the age of the person you are e-mailing? And should it even matter? In a recent e-mail I noticed that a person was "caught" using "Mr." when writing for the first time to someone. He thought it was appropriate to do so. Turns out the guy he was writing to was 3 years younger than him. Yes, you are using Mr. in a note to a person that was a freshman when you were graduating from high school. The person you had to direct to their first period on day one of school.
Think about it.
The big issue here is that as soon as you use Mr. or Ms. you put yourself in a social position just below the receiver. By definition. As a job seeker, consider that you are not in a different class. Age does not matter. In truth, you are a business person offering your skills and experience to a company in need. They are looking for a solution to a problem. And you may be the solution. So why not just say "Dear Mike" or "Dear Sarah"? Get on even footing from the start and do it with confidence.
And if the hiring manager is a young, social media maven (in work or on the side) you will damage your standing from the start with a "Mr." introduction.
And stop using generic formalities
- Dear Sir or Madam
Madam? Really? This is all part of this beautiful collision between the extreme casual tone displayed in social media and our dwindling but still present sense of manners at all costs from our parents era. And the collision will either be one you avoid or one where you end up being dragged in the mud on Facebook.
So this is wrong in two ways. First, no one uses Sir or Madam any more except in job search. Stop using those words. You might as well be using a pen with a very large feather and writing on parchment paper. But, more important, why are you sending a cover letter to "Sir or Madam" when you could just go into Linkedin and get a name? This solves the Sir or Madam issue in a very clean way. Promise to never send another one of these letters with your resume. Do you promise?
And if you are a hiring manager, please don't expect a formal introduction to a cover letter. Be open to me calling you "Rob" if that's your name. Even if we've never met and even if I'm ten years younger than you. It's not an insult. It's your name.
Job seekers need to take back the high road in communications. And today is the day.
Have I convinced you?
